Last year Luke was on the fence about all the Christmas fibs--Santa, the elf....
He would make little comments about how we are the ones that move the elf around the house and other little bits about Santa.
Usually those sorts of things came out when he was feeling a little rotten. Plus it seemed like his way of getting under his brothers skin while testing the water at the same time--not actually asking the BIG question.
I dealt with it by pointing out that there were other people in the house who actually did believe in all the magic and, although he was welcome to believe or not believe, I would appreciate if he didn't try to ruin the fun for the rest of us.
It worked.
He stopped making comments, I didn't lie to him, and he seemed to believe more than he didn't by the time Christmas was through.
About two weeks ago, Luke started in on it again.
I'd already told myself that this was probably going to be the year that he stopped believing. He was already on the fence, plus a lot of the other moms said that their 4th graders already knew. I was prepared to have a sit-down with him.
As soon as we dropped the other two off at school, I laid it all out for him. The elf, Santa, everything.
He said that he already kind of knew. I felt good about our chat--a little sad but excited to have a helper and someone to scheme with!
Later that day, I went to check the mantle where Henry left notes for elf to take to Santa. What I found were two notes from Henry and one from Lucas.
My heart immediately broke.
I realized that I completely jumped the gun.
I worried all day. I went to work before he got out of school so the first chance I had to talk to him was in the middle of the night when I got home.
I woke him up and told him how sorry I was that I spoiled everything for him. He told me that he was a little sad about it, but excited to help. It was a dagger straight through my heart.
I cried--a lot.
I probably could have gotten away with just telling him that we move the elf. Anytime that he questioned Santa it was just thrown in at the end of his "Mom and Dad move the elf" bit. I don't think that he made it far enough into really questioning Santa.
I should have never doubted his belief in Santa. I do an excellent job at it!
I never give anything, not even candy, that can be directly linked to a store. Everything is generic or gets reworked and repackaged so it looks generic. If anything's ever questioned I say that the stores must have gotten the idea from Santa!
Luckily Henry and Josh believe in all of it with every fiber of their being--especially Henry.
After what happened with Luke, I may never tell them. They are going to have to learn it the hard way, and even then, I'll deny that it's true!
